When I close my eyes, all I see are phalluses. What's that mean?

Hey! you got your Dick in my Zayn!

They say if you're a snitch and you close your eyes at lights out, you can hear the dick wolf out in the exercise yard, digging your grave.

Government takeover by squid-men of the Illuminati = CONFIRMED

Most people are jerks, so I only watch cartoons and muppet related media.

Rod Steward. Duh.

Is it bad? Pfffft.

While I admit the ending left something to be desired, I really enjoyed it. It felt like the unofficial sequel to the original Bioshock video game. It seems to be one of those divisive movies where you either can't help but pick apart it's flaws, or you're on the same wavelength and go along with it.

In the end it all worked out, but until I had that realization, it was a bit much to read a made up word and then a paragraph describing that it was just an everyday object. As I was reading I would scream things like "You can just call it a goddamn TV, Neal".

I just finished binge watching Burning Love, and I thought it was great. The parody is so spot on, that if you didn't recognize any of the actors you could easily mistake it for a real show at first glance.

When I worked retail, I had a guy start screaming when I asked for ID when he tried to use a credit card which had "See ID" written on the signature space on the back of it. His argument was he had left his ID at home, and that message was only meant for when people other than him try to use the card.

Forgive them St. Francis Stallone, for they know not what they do.

I'm not your Scarlet, Pimpernel.

He did, but he got a 4 billion dollar severance package.

They named the condition after the man.

I had all the action figures, but I never got the jet. The fact that you could shoot along with the show blew my mind away. Although, now I'm glad I never got it because there is no way in hell the experience was as good as what I had built it up to be in my mind.

I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and listen to you besmirch the good name of Nigel Tufnel. Good day to you, sir or madam!

My parents never swore in front of me and as a result I've only let slip a curse word once in front of them my whole life. They were visiting me in college and took my girlfriend and I out to eat. I accidentally let slip during dinner conversation, "my roommate leaves his fucking pizza boxes all over the apartment".…

My wife and I curse all the time, so we tried to clean it up once she got pregnant by saying things like "son of a bee". Then the day came when my two year old daughter couldn't find her toy and yelled "What the eff?!?!". We then realized that it was all the same when it comes from the mouth of a child.

That sounds nicer than when the manager at Applebee's told all of us servers huddled around the tvs the morning of Sept 11th, "Ok. Let's not make a big thing about this. We've got lemons to cut".