No one would believe you. You'd sound insane to everyone but Trump. And in an ironic twist, you'd only give him the last bit of motivation he needs to decide to run.

That's because poor people make the worst music videos.

It's not a true orgy unless someone is passing out Milano cookies.

I would name one of my party members after someone I didn't like and secretly hope they would die when I played Oregon Trail in elementary school.

I thought the menu was a little odd. That makes sense now.

You have to save something for the sequel.

That's how I pump myself up before going to work.

*today's obligatory quote*

There's no "maybe" about it. We are all getting a little sick of your pro-sandwich agenda.

I'm pretty sure those are all just origin stories.

Why thank you.

I'm confused about the rules. We take a drink every time you say "fun" or when you say "start drinking"?

Did you tell them Chuck Grassley sent you to pick up a nut buster parfait and then wink exaggeratingly?

"Uhhhhhh….Whoopie? I mean, I don't NOT like her."

Seeing as how his company offered a one million dollar guarantee, I think it was just an ingenious plan to get a large bonus.

People drink grape juice? I thought it was just for spilling on shit in commercials.

I'm a purple stuff man myself.

What did Chris Brown think was going to happen inviting a beautiful scam artist back to his diamond filled home? He was asking for it.

I'm assuming the story is all just building to a massive celebratory feast/orgy of some kind at the conclusion. The show just doesn't match the books in getting across the essence of the roast pheasant with sausage and apple dressing.

My guess is it's from a bit he did with his improv buddies at Yale drama school. Originally the bit referenced his good friend Jim Morrison, but he wasn't sure Jim was famous enough, so he switched it up to his other good friend Wiz Khalifa.