Slander! Seacrest got those bruises from a door knob!

I'm pretty sure Korea is on the other side of the Earth, which makes it the Winter Olympics there.

Man of Steel 2: City of Angels - Presented by Nationwide Insurance

What? Oh no, no. They sound alike, but this one's about a crow.

His actual comment was "Well looky at that, you could land a plane on it".

Not poor? EVIL! Pure eeeeeevvvvvvviiiiiiiillllllllll I tells ya.

How do you plan on fighting against pussification without hot lead flying at you? Well….how do you, punk?

I subscribe to the "I can always pick it off" school of thought.

The worst haircut I ever had in my life was when I was eleven. I went into meticulous detail about what I wanted and even mentioned how I didn't even really want a haircut but my mom was making me. The old man proceeded to give me a flat-top straight out of some 1950's catalog.

I've been burned more than once going into a new place and finding out to my horror that the online menu hasn't been updated ever. My battle plans were ruined!

As a former waiter in college, I can attest to the fact that people will order an item and then blow up at you when that item was not prepared the way they felt it should have been changed from the menu in their head.

I once had a very low paying job that would periodically feed us in order to entice us to come in and work over-nights to catch up on tasks. It would inevitably be a giant bowl of shitty candy and ramen bought in bulk sans any kind of utensils.

A huge part of the appeal for me is how fucking spot-on the parodies are. Most of these seem like they could be deleted scenes from the actual documentaries.

I was fine with the ending. I felt the episode hewed so closely to the actual doc that the only real joke (and it was admittedly a good one) was how perfect a recreation it was. At some point they had to spin it off into something different. I was constantly amazed at the quality of the series and can't wait for…

Wonder Showzen still blows my mind. It's like Sesame Street for anarchists. It's one of my favorite shows of all time.

If you don't know, then you've already won.

Skyrim? You mean that old baby game that's not even in VR?

I guess if I had to pick only one food…..it would be pizza.

Oh really? But then what's this behind your ear……

Sounds like someone just finished reading The Art of the Deal too.