Smart move. It starts a never ending cycle of "well, they came to our party and brought a present, so now we have to go to theirs". I spend a small fortune buying shitty gifts for other people's kids every other weekend. I'm tempted to tell my daughter she gets to pick two friends, the rest are dead to us.

Oh shit…..the bots are getting into politics now. A chicken in every pot, and a McLaren in every driveway! StrideMother 2020!

Thank goodness the Million Mother March happens in May or otherwise things could get awkward.

Your translation skills will be in high demand when President Trump and Shaggy 2 Dope try to communicate using a series of Faygo flavors and all the best big words.

There is no way we can verify!! Who snopes the snopers?

The penal colony was for people convicted of stealing hearts.

You misunderstand. It about a getaway FROM erotica. It's the sequel to that documentary about Mormon spring break where they get whacked out on Sprite and spend all their time avoiding skin on skin contact with the opposite sex.

My little girl shits in the guest bathroom without flushing. But she doesn't want anyone to know and will deny it.

Drink Bud Dry!

No, President Trump's Secretary of Defense Gary Busey.

Children of the Corning Gorilla Glass.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POKEMON?!?!

I love when people point out that the Bible says the end times will happen in our lifetime. Hasn't the Bible been around for a little bit? I think we passed the expiration date of "in our lifetime" awhile ago.

Even stranger is Stone's insistence that Snowden wear a cape and tights for the last act of the movie.

That's such sad news!

You think you're so tough, with your confidence and your…. *mumbles to self while staring at the floor*

Future wives.

*SPOILERS*

At Applebee's, they will also sell you weed if you ask nicely.

*overheard at a BestBuy*