That was an open air production of Julius Caesar, you moron. You killed five actors. Good ones!

This one time, I made a rust-proof piece of kitchen equipment out of Molybdenum.

This is clearly some definition of the word 'won' of which I am previously unaware.

Remember kids, the best way to fight the Toxic Nostalgia of Corporate Superhero Comics is to deify a superhero comic someone wrote for Warner Brothers a quarter of a century ago.

Oh, and of course a quick round of crying/wanking over Watchmen, because apparently the way you oppose the Toxic Nostalgia of Corporate Comics or whateverthefuck is by deifying a superhero comic someone wrote for Warner Brothers a quarter of a century ago.

'Sins'. Honestly, have a fucking word with yourselves, lads.

“every rape is not a gender-motivated hate crime.”
Oh, thank goodness for that. Otherwise, rape might be a BAD thing.

Or "What's a 'disma' when it's at home then, you sixth-form-satire twat?"

"Dismaland"
Well, he stayed up all night, but it was worth it.

Three movies into the franchise seems a little late to realise that the people who make something called "Sharknado" think you're a fucking idiot who'll watch anything.

"Less charming"? I'm not sure how that's possible, given that the original was as charming as getting cancer of the penis and finding out there's a phone bill stapled to it.

True, which makes it pleasingly surprising that JL #41 took the time to acknowledge David F Walkers upcoming changes to Cyborg.

God, I am so tired of people telling me how amazing the storytelling is in the Souls games, and how it's so superior to gaijin trash like Skyrim etc etc etc. Yes, maybe it tells its story in a subtler way than usual, but that story is still the same old fantasy drivel about the Sword of Kyzwxyk and the Curse of…

Ah, "binge-watching". Remember when sitting in front of a screen for hours at a time passively shovelling moving images into your eyeballs was considered a pathetic activity that only the lowest, slack-jawed, couch potato morons would indulge in, rather than the hip way all the sophisticated people spend their lives?

It's coming to Steam on 28th May. Along with the previously unreleased sequel.

"So far, you've declared Neptune a mollusc, Venus a shoal of herring, and the Moon the Man from Atlantis!"
"So?"
"Well, the Moon is a small white boring thing with no life, and the Man from Atlantis…"
"Yes?"
"I see your point."

Noah Berlatsky will be so disappointed.

I'm still astonished Watch_Dogs didn't end with someone saying "I'd like you to meet some friends of mine. They call themselves… The Assassins."

Oh look, it's something that looks vaguely like half-remembered things from my childhood that were actually shit, only with lolrandom violence and unpleasantness.

I always prefered his cousins, Jacques Scruffy and Jacques Absolutelyfallingtopieces.