Ready when you are, Shakey.

There's a little man in the village who runs up my skirts.

Hullo Control.

"If nothing else, Airport is a fascinating window into what audiences of nearly a half-century ago found thrilling."

Remember when people inspired by sci-fi to work in science and technology did so to do things like build actual spaceships and actually travel to the moon, rather than enable tossers to spend enough money to feed the average third world village for six months on cosplaying as a member of Starfleet? Great days.

"Oh no, the Russians have pulled out of the war."
"Well, we soon saw them off, didn't we sir? Miserable slant-eye,sausage eating swine."
"The Russians are on *our* side, George."

"Besides, it would take a superman to get him out of there, not the kind of weed who blubs just because somebody gives him a slice of rabbit pie instead of birthday cake."

Dickie? Dead? Poor poor Dickie. I loved Dickie, you know. We all did. Another scone?

You unfeeling bastard, Sir.

The Manpower Services Commission was a now-defunct part of the department of employment that dealt with organising employment training schemes. I love that whole skit as one of the earliest clear expressions of Rik and Ade's Beckett influences - "Two pointless weirdos sitting around talking in circles and achieving…

"Not that speaker! Jimi Hendrix once pissed on that!"

Also, the radio DJ is Ben Elton, and the woman he's talking to is actress Cindy Shelley, who nine years later played one of the lesbians Richie attempts to seduce on the first episode of Bottom.

"Phone the police!"
"But they're facists."
"Well never mind about that NOW!"

"Only you can't see that, cause, like, I've got me shirt on."
"Doesn't it hurt?"
"Nah, it's polyester and cotton."

"Now, let me see. "Beau Brummel in purple pants probe." "King talks to tree, phew what a loony…" God, the Times has really gone downhill recently, hasn't it?"

"If the prince had stipulated "must weigh a quarter of a ton" we'd be laughing."

GENTLE MUSIC.

"I charge you now, Baldrick: for the good of all mankind, never allow curiosity
to lead you to open your trousers. Nothing of interest lies therein."

The Post Office is now in a position to achieve complete world domination.

Sod it. Let's go to McDonalds.