Nope. Cite the Wikipedia all you want.

*watches*

I'd throw insults to random Italians before I messed with that crowd.

They may be comfortable, but I've never had a pair last longer than six months.

If you're on the east side of the Rockies, you ain't in the west.

Back to back until then?

Now there's a way to spice up your commute.

You should put it back before your mom realizes its not in her drawer anymore.

There are quite a few of us out here. Sadly it's so damn big as to still make meetups awkward.

*preemptively judges*

We are traditionalists around here after all.

I've always found it the aunt/uncles responsibility to give the most obnoxious toys money could buy. Specifically as payback for childhood.

The fact I'll be paying off my appendectomy for the next decade or so really is my own fault, isn't it?

Test passed. With style even.

And wears New Balance sneakers while writing a terrible "mommy blog"? Why no, I've never given it any thought.

Yes.

At least fine? Why that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

GUYS, I FOUND ONE! GET HIM!!!

Because my boss hasn't quite gone home yet…

But… that IS the Midwest… at least you picked one of the interesting (if expensive) parts.