I was selling a truck for a friend a few years ago (which is another story) and the people who bought it were just every stereotype of ignorant, bad parents. They showed up with a Suburban and a trailer, and both parents were smoking when they climbed out. The truck didn't have an engine and I had to push it on the…

I was behind an SUV at a light last month and there was an anti-abortion sticker on the bumper. The kids inside were jumping around everywhere because they weren't wearing seatbelts.

"I am crushing your head!"

Give it a try and see what you find. Or maybe your search will be the topic of a future article.

They were looking for their favorite star, Phil Lipino.

"RUMP," because everything he does ends with the most embarrassing failure possible.

He could have been saying we're the only planet who had a drummer as great as Keith Moon. No, I doubt he's much of a fan of that hippy "rock and roll" music.

Perhaps he's an ignorant blowhard? No, that can't be right.

Didn't O'Reilly also claim that Earth is the only planet with a moon?

The Tick was mentioned by someone a couple of days ago and I wondered how Trump's giant laser/moon engraving project is progressing.

And no fuses or circuit protection, so the console would explode right at you if there was a power surge.

"But where'd the moon come from? You can't explain that."

I used to wear Sorel boots but they aren't the same as they were 15-20 years ago when they were made in Canada. They are all made in China now, I think. I bought a pair of Kamik Cody boots because they are made in USA. They are great, other than the issue with trying to drive with them on. So I bought a cheaper pair…

This is probably one of the earliest things I can remember reading from The Onion:

"Let me tell you about Dawes."

I'm sure trying to understand anything happening in his daily life gives him painful headaches. Good.

He reproduces by laying eggs which later hatch and his young burst out of corpses. It's right there in the article.

Which was actually the topic of an editorial cartoon from The Onion.

"I can't believe it's not butter!"

They modulated the frequency, damn it!