That's good, because they might try to shoot at the gunman and hit bystanders. Or maybe it's not the gunman but just another person (off duty cop?) with a gun trying to look for the gunman. Or get shot themselves by being mistaken for the gunman. It's already chaos. Turning it into a free-fire zone would only make it…

You guessed it - they do.

Trump gives a lot of time and consideration to carefully weighing the implications of his decisions before he does the absolutely shittiest things.

That's pretty much how I feel about elections. "They didn't put their message in simple enough terms." Why is that the lesson instead of expecting people to be more informed about complicated issues?

Their self-image is Dirty Harry, but if there was an actual incident where they came under fire, they'd probably be more like Barney Fife. Even police and military personnel have difficulty functioning in those situations, that's why they have to spend so much time training.

Trump is his own grandfather? That helps to partially explain some things about him.

The president shouldn't be concerned with how our government works or what it's doing. Or concerned with reality, for that matter.

And the fucker has the nerve to act like everyone needs to have unquestioning respect for him now because he's president. Fuck you, Donnie!

Thanks for mentioning that Nicaragua wanted it to be stronger. I don't have any specific interest in Nicaragua, but I didn't want them to be unfairly lumped in with a country run by an unhinged madman. Or Syria.

They're both old men with diminished mental capacity, but Grandpa is a pretty decent guy and not actively trying to harm anyone. His rambling stories don't have the potential to start a war.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar is out there! He can't be bargained with. He can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop - ever, until you are dead!

You just can't hide it.

I sometimes think Trump is a little like Grandpa Simpson. They both tell stories that don't make any damn sense and mix up historical facts and characters. I'm pretty sure that at any moment Trump is going to talk about the time Calvin Coolidge sold him a goat, and then that goat won a chess tournament against Hank…

I'm in northern Minnesota and I look like that for about 6 months out of the year. Easier to leave the hat on indoors because it covers hat hair.

Y-Y-Zed.

That song drives my baseball fan friend crazy because the lyrics say "I can be center field."

"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."

I used to immediately turn to that or Total Recall if I saw them while scrolling through the TV schedule, but now I have to first check to see if it's one of the remakes.

"He was already dead when I killed him!"

I'd die laughing if I spoke German.