Did you see that story recently about Florida having a law that barred doctors from talking to their patients about guns? Because it would be awful if a doctor talked to a depressed patient about not buying or owning a gun. It got overturned by the courts, fortunately.

Canada does have a cool dad! I could be at the border in under two hours if I started now.

They also serve coffee all day. You can even get it with cream, mate.

Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey everybody, I.P. Freely! Wait a minute… Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half.

It's because of the shit he says.

Ivana Tinkle, just a sec. Ivana Tinkle! Ivana Tinkle! Hey, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle!

Who kept knocking over those empty beer bottles while they were recording?

The Abortionplex wasn't an actual thing?

Triumph?

Zed

Hold on, I'll check. Phone call for Al… Al Caholic. Is there an Al Caholic here?
(The guys in the pub cheer.) Wait a minute… Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!

Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here? A Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz! Wait a minute… Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

[phone rings] "Moe's Tavern."

Turfucken.

"It's twue!"

Emplacement?

I guess my explaining it was also kind of goysplaining, since I grew up in a Lutheran family.

Happy Birthday!

Jimmy Smits!

"One dollar and nine cents."