Have you ever seen a monkey give birth to a human? Case closed!

When I saw the headline I was thinking more about the "assimilation" part of it, as in the way our mitochondria may have come from one organism living inside another. Or maybe even the way our intestinal flora function.

Ample parking, though.

I was best man when my friends got married, so he and she and I went to the tux rental place to get fitted. The kid there asked if I was the father of the bride. I'm 8 years older than she is, so, uh, sure. Then I was at a party with them a few years later and someone else asked if I was his father. Which, again, I'm…

No, that guy clearly doesn't have a hat. It's only one of the lookalikes meant to fool everyone.

It was only a painting of a railroad tunnel on the side of a cliff, yet somehow a train emerged to run them down.

There's a scene before that, I think, where he and Vanessa sneak out of the tour group to follow two workers into the restrooms to steal their lab coats. The workers are vastly different in height and size from Austin and Vanessa, but the lab coats fit perfectly when they emerge from the restrooms.

Doesn't Michael McDonald appear in one of the sequels? So he must have recovered from being flattened.

Aw, man. The RA already got on his ass about having a hot plate in there.

It would be funny if the other spambot replied to this. Maybe they could get an entire thread of spam replies going.

Republicans are apparently under the impression that women should already pay more for health insurance because they a) go to the doctor more often, and b) their lady parts are so complicated. It's a sound, rational policy, and certainly not a load of crap.

There's a whole thing (written in a comedic style) I've read before addressing all these issues from the Bible in the form of questions. Like something about people with defective sight not being allowed in the temple. Not an exact quote, but in the gist of "My neighbor wears glasses, should I stone him to death now,…

"And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck, it looked like this…!"

They're all driving around the USA in vans with their young friends, fighting injustice wherever they find it.

Also the name of a collection of unreleased songs from The Yardbirds.

They were actually marmots.

I wonder if the people in charge of special effects for this also designed the Millennium Falcon door that crushed Harrison Ford.

For some reason I was thinking of the Tom Petty song "You Don't Know How It Feels" this morning and how the line about "roll another joint" used to get censored. I haven't heard that song in years and don't know if it's still censored if it gets played on the radio.

The first 50 years were a struggle to figure out which end to point at the target.

I was expecting to hear from Elegant Victorian Lady, but she must already have fainted dead away.