So imagine you have a secret baby you don't want for some reason. Also, imagine that you have the full cognitive powers of a normal human adult. What would you do with it? Put it up for adoption? Leave it in a bassinet outside of a church? Down the Nile River in a basket? Into the woods to be raised by wolves?

*Holly Marie Combs slowly swings a broken sword hilt twice at a Chinese Warrior ghost, then accidentally does a forward roll into a bottomless pit*

And furthermore, when Neo played Agent Smith's skeleton like a xylophone, he struck the same rib in succession, yet he produced two clearly different tones.

One of my graduate art and social practice classes wanted to make an Etsy store selling products that critique and comment on "Etsy culture." We quickly realized that there is basically no product you can make and sell to call out the ridiculousness of Etsy that people aren't already selling there uncritically and…

*gets notification*

And they say capitalism has failed us.

There could have been more porn! Or less porn.

Maybe it is a corollary of Moore's Law that, as the pace of technological advancement continues to increase, the time required for us to develop nostalgia for old technology decreases proportionally.

Not much, man, WHAS IP with you?

Kenneth, I've been calling you. Has Cranston not been giving you my messages?

Another good find-and-replace to add to my chrome extension.

Hair swelling, rectal dyslexia, and dry mouth are.

Wow, I really like the phrase "involuntary dadaist."

No, our goal was always Mars. Though it eluded us, we were tantalized by the whispered promises of "more candy bars."

Hey, actually I have an idea for how we can both get a free Starz subscription. Meet me at their headquarters tomorrow, and bring an old violin.

So now, the real question: is it worth the 9 bucks to buy a month of Starz through Amazon Prime to watch these as they come out? Or should I wait until the show is over and binge it during the one week free trial they offer?

What a ridiculous plan. I have been assured by several elementary school students that the only reason one would go to Jupiter is, it seems, "to get more stupider."

Card is an ass, that's for sure. It's fascinating to me, though. The first two Ender books were such an excellent argument for compassion and humanism. Even though aliens may seem terrifying and incomprehensible, and heartbreaking miscommunications happen all the time, if you try hard enough you can come to mutual…

Oh my God, I must watch this movie.

Agree. Also, you could replace "The Giver" with "Ender's Game" and I would agree with you again.