Plus, any given NFL game is way more likely to be competitive. So many college games seem like they're won by three or more scores.

As someone who grew up next to the University of North Texas, I can say with certainty that the origin of the phrase "Mean Green" is barely contentious and absolutely not fascinating.

More like "crapris," am I right?

Not a big Verdi fan, I guess?

The recurring line "Christmas comes this time each year" is seriously the most half-assed song lyric I have ever heard. It just comes out of nowhere, repeatedly, as if springing from a well of obvious calendar facts for stupid children.

Not to be confused with a Cock-Wight, which if I remember my Tolkien, haunted the earth beneath the ancient ruins of Mons Pubis.

It's tennis night in America / Got some buds and some brews, it's gonna be a fight.

I mean, you would think that anybody could look good behind Dallas' o-line. But Matt Cassel, Brandon Weeden, Kellen Moore, Joseph Randle, Lance Dunbar, and Darren McFadden would disagree.

The Beach Boys? More like the "Birch" Boys, am I right? Like the John Birch Society? Because of fascism?

For a really long time, I thought the lyrics were "She's real fine, my fraulein." I guess cause I had seen The Sound of Music but had no idea what a "409" was. And still don't, to be honest.

I thought the GOP had a falling out with them once they realized the lyrics weren't actually "bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran."

Well, if Blade Runner 2049 is due out last year, that means this will be released… Thirty two years ago?

I know. It'll be pretty ruff.

Exactly. Probably the funniest thing I've ever seen in real life was at a white elephant exchange with my friends in college. There was one huge box, much larger than the others. One person in attendance saw it and immediately said that was the present he was going to choose.. He deeply wanted the biggest box…

I agree that it's not special, but that's kind of the point. You give your loved ones real presents that show you care, but for your larger circle of casual friends, you all get drunk and see who ends up going home with twenty used harlequin paperbacks and a box of tissues. Assuming you have friends who "get" the…

I read The Name of the Wind because it is my best friend's favorite book and this very website basically called it the second coming of Tolkien. It was hyped to me as this earth-shattering work… And it was fine. Good enough to get me to buy the next book, but not quite good enough to actually take it off my shelf…

Greeeeetings from the fuuuuuture

Yes, if by "Thursday morning" you mean "later today."

No, Asshole Island is actually a peninsula.

I really expected more end-of-the-year love for Swiss Army Man. It was heartbreaking, honest, strange, goofy, gross, and beautiful. It's really stuck with me in a way no other films this year have.