No more rhymes now! I mean it!

Or failing at that, a cover of "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

If you want to be confusingly literal, it should only be used to describe kingfishers

And Franco doesn't hunt human beings in the woods for sport.

As I understand the issue, Irving did the first major English-language work on the firebombing of Dresden back in the 60s. This was before Irving's works began to come under critical scrutiny as Nazi apologetics. Irving put the death toll at 135,000, and that's the number Vonnegut used in his works. Modern estimates,…

A meandering, plotless, three-hour long film starring Shia LaBeouf? Do the Geneva Conventions even allow this?

Damn. I was really hoping there would be an Inglourious Basterds-style twist ending and Mark Wahlberg would actually stop the oil spill from happening.

Dinosaurs… eat man….

Read True Grit already! Portis is an American master. But really, both films are fairly close adaptations of it.

My mom says if I keep fan-baiting, I'll go blind.

Mussorgsky's astounding opera is the only reason I have heard the name Boris Godunov. Which I guess makes me a weird mix of educated and uneducated?

Kidnapped by Danger: the Shin Sang-ok Story, brought to you with limited commercial interruptions by Pride bladder control pads. Pride: make every room a bathroom

A bee's knees with a dash of absinthe sounds great. Forget the Malort, which I believe is the only liqueur named after a goblin warlock.

But chicks dig my puns!

I consider myself clucky to be able to comment here a-head of everyone else.

I'm pretty sure "Hillsong" playing is one of the three signs that the Hill Witch is near.

As a fast-food customer, I believe this is inaccurate. I long ago stopped caring about anything whatsoever.

I volunteer to write a terrible pop-country theme song.

I had thought for a some time that I would get "Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear" as a tattoo. But then this guy ruins it for me.

650 calories is… a light lunch? In America, salads start at 1,200 calories.