You're bald.

There's one section of the apartment complex that, for some reason or another, was not designed to handle water. If it so much as drizzles, it floods. Even as an exaggeration, it's still flooded as hell. It's the unholy mess of low ground, sewer, gutters and anything else. It's the only part of the complex like…

I get paid pretty well to comment here.

That's the way it is.

I don't know what it is about ducks, but I love how they always have a goose as part of their little group. My dad lives near a duck pond and there's always some goose as the leader.

A year ago, my college seemed to have a revolving door of animal gangs. Depending on the day, it was either a bunch of cats, raccoons or ducks who got lost and started a duck fight club.

The apartment has a really cool courtyard in between two buildings. It's just a very peaceful hidden section of the complex. The problem though, it's not level, so it floods. It's pouring outside and the courtyard is turning into a pool. So I'm trying to dodge the rain and that rat is just SHIT SHIT SHIT OUT OF MY…

I went to check the mail and saw a rat barreling through flood waters, to its perspective, like it was an Olympic athlete. Thing even stopped and looked at me before it barreled away. This apartment complex has the weirdest collection of animals.

This reminds me of when Miyamoto made the developers of Super Mario 3D Land run him through the science behind how a propeller block works. I love those moments where something nobody really cares about is suddenly questioned, in a universe where very little runs on normal science.

They're safe, as long as it stays at that level. Fox has more problems with the Minority Report dumpster fire and Scream Queens being a flop, so two 1.5s are good for now.

The Grinder and Grandfathered both got a 1.5 last night, which puts them ahead of Scream Queen's 1.4.

I saw this joke earlier on Reddit and I had to show somebody. It's amazing.

Is Obama the new Pope?

If you were rich, you could pay off some guards to blast a hole through the rock wall, just like God intended.

Jesuscare.

Let me show you my favorite Jesus interpretation ever.

HE'S TELLING US TO LOVE EACH OTHER, KILL HIM.

Minority Report is first on the chopping block, so as long as it can stay above that, Fox will work with it.

I watched Stakeout and Doc Hollywood, then I read some comics.

I always thought Nova was pretty cool. Even old school Nova was Spider-Man in space. Then he grows seven levels cooler in Annihilation and holy shit Marvel, why are you not using this. Star-Lord is cool, but it's funny how he's just the wacky sidekick while Nova is doing shit.