I agree, it was almost as good as Jack Reacher

I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal… or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!

Sesame Street taught me that you can find your lost dog with the help of some grizzled old typesetters and plastering excessive amounts of posters on the same shop window.

That's right Lt Broccoli, and if your kids give you any lip you can beat them with a sack of sweet Valencia Oranges. They won't leave a bruise and it'll let 'em know who's boss, there's nooo doubt about it.

David Frost: Alright wait, wait just so I understand correctly, are you really saying that in certain situations a Big Bird can decide whether it's in the best interest of the Street and then do something illegal?…
Big Bird: I'm saying that when a Big Bird does it, that means it's not illegal!

SAM: Greetings humans! I am a Super Automatic Machine. You may call me by my initials S.A.M.
Barbara: What kind of machine are you?
SAM: I am a machine that can be anything you like. What kind of machine do you want? Machines are better than humans, fish, and plankton. And sea greens, and protein from the sea! It's all…

"We didn't land on Sesame Street! Sesame Street landed on us!"

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ!

Hey kids, Elmo is back! And now he's wicked smaaaaht!

*uselessly selecting target and hitting shift-a*
(no response because wingmen already dead)
Do I have to do everything around here?!

"Ahh, but the smashed berries that's… that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now…

"Outsiders!"
"Protect the fire!"

*Produces small brown paper bag*
"Behold! The crust…of Birdman!"

"Back-off! I'll make you fun-sized!"

I'm amazed that there needed to be an in depth scientific study made into the correlation of players using their heads as battering rams week in week out and brain injuries period.

I would have thought his obvious experience with depression would be a good choice as a suicidal ex-football player

And they like to shoot their guns, but they don't know what it means?

Can't we all just get along and bribe the enemy's cities to convert to us?

Who can turn the world on with his 'stache?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all hack and slash?

Ricky, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?