Wait a minute - you're telling methe band is really high fashion models? What's next, they're not really playing their instruments?

She dances almost as good (almost) as Elaine Benes.

I tried it once. It hurt a little, but it was okay.

OK, I talked to Dave about this. (Yeah, he prefers to be called Dave, or Davey.) He's bummed because the sound quality is so bad and he's afraid we won't get it. What he's singing is, "I'm a black star." He wants to be the rock and roll version of Rachel Dolezal.

I don't want to read 500+ comments to see if this has been mentioned, but. . . I have been down on my knees praying to Palin's God that Donald Trump gets the nomination and picks her for his VP. How fun would that circus be?

It doesn't get easier, but it does become the same 'ol shit after a while. Another thing: you will come to realize that a lot of shit you stressed over really wasn't shit, but fertilizer that helped you grow up big and strong.

Then there's the story of the Hollywood actor who died at twelve, yet had a son who also became a Hollywood actor.

Point of clarification: does funniest screenplay = funniest movie? Or, can one laugh out loud reading a screenplay and then snooze through the movie?

He was the fat one, right?

I'm OK with it, as long as he doesn't insist on joining in. Ever heard any of Shatner's albums?

Useless trivia: Trumbo's daughter is a child psychotherapist, once practicing in Pasadena, CA. She treated my then-psycho daughter some twenty years ago and really helped. I'm sure her upbringing was great experience for the profession she chose.

They're white, so they're not illegal. Even if they're here illegally.

Personally, I would have been more freaked out that someone might see me eating at Waffle House.

Can we call you a nogger?

"Galt's Gulch" is such a stupid name that it's my new synonym for nirvana, utopia, etc. By the way, who exactly collected the trash and cleaned houses in Galt's Gulch?

You have 10,000 CDs by that Manaics group? Gotta be a few duplicates there.

I don't mind, as long as I get my rebate for the two 11 1/2 "footlongs" I was fooled into buying this year.

Until this week, I wanted to be Lamar Odom.

Correct - corinthian leather is a completely made up marketing term. Corinth doesn't even have cows!

With his nose, just like most of the rest of us.