Yeah because shit being strange and alien to your brain is not at all scary.

This. Just this.

Yes, but it isn't worth whiskey.

Should've skipped to the last line when you saw the headline. I'm doing it with vodka.

That's my fucking birthday.

I once saw a woman lift a controller. It crumbled to ash in her hands.

You know, I was really pissed about the way they tried to handwave that question away at the time, but it's looking more and more like they really didn't have the time to worry about an entire gender.

If Eric Andre were with him, the place wouldn't even be left standing.

…and get him in XXXmas!

The last time brought up Frequency to me, before the Passion of the Christ came out, they asked "Didn't the guy end up being Jesus?" "No, I don't think so." "I thought that was the twist."

The material crap is the only enjoyable part of Christmas, please don't ruin it with Jesus.

I think the joke works better the other way, personally, so that's how I interpreted it.

Better than Stephen Colbert and his incessant pandering to the eagles.

Good news, everyone! Now I'll be in your nightmares forever!

Hey, buddy, maybe if you laid off the pipe-weed for a while you'd be able to open your eyes.

Butt love ballads is my favorite Spotify playlist

This is what I've been saying all along. It's clear that Smaug never existed, and Bilbo's stories are an obvious cover-up. This is just a false flag operation to take the catastrophic incendiary devices away from the supposedly free people of Middle Earth. Next thing you know, they'll come for our rings of power.…

Being John Malkovich, directed by Quentin Tarantino.

I'm sorry, I can't relate to this at all. The voices in my head tell me I'm a piece of shit and an alcoholic, sure, but never to kill anyone.

That one really bad season before the next really bad season?