I don't mean to be to bluntly concern-trolling here, but I think her monochrome friends have been an all-around bad influence.

WHEN MINNOW PEDICURES GO TOO FAR.

I'm just imagining you sharpening all your knives in a dark room, muttering about how "they" will regret giving you such terrible gifts.

You think Emily Goodhand is a temptress, you should try Emily Goodmouth.

PS:

Holy crap, check out the link that came up when I did an image search!

PAGE SCANS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! :-)

Only if you'll also carry the "bag of dog poo" part of the costume, too. ;-)

I love the euphemisms they mention in the article, though!

I think it could be all of the above. Cross-promotion and all. And don't forget about the food tie-ins, either.

Is anyone else getting an Instagram vibe off that coat? Like that it's a really expensive artsy version of the logo?

Is anybody else relieved that this list seems be more "eccentric" names than a list of anachronistic "haha, look what poor people name their kids!

Depressingly, I don't think that this would be the showstopper of a FLORIDA! You wouldn't even have to go for the cannibalism cases or racism, just the low-hanging fruit of terrible politics.

For all the kids reading at home, though, Santa Dog just IS white, though:

"...now they look like weird hubcap-cd hybrids."

Weirdly
Emotional
Tell-all
Substituting for
Properly
Orchestrated
Timing

It took me a minute to get past the "my cousin was reading porn by candlelight" line, which was hilarious (I don't mean to be disrespectful).

I've actually been disappointed by sex partners who DON'T do this.