Probably very handy to have this sort of visual aid when you are shopping your daughter around to prospective future in-laws in the church basement over coffee and lemon bars

If my anxiety caused bleeding, I'd need a mop everywhere I go.

For the life of me, I can't figure out which is supposed to be exempt. I, uh... I've worked with doctors.

I have a friend with very thick hair I love to touch! Come sit by me :-)

I have very thick hair and on occasion people will touch it. I don't mind it at all. But. I'm possibly the whitest lady alive and I'm a sad single. So any snippet of human touch comforts my lonely soul. People really should not be touching strangers though.

Is that really a thing? White people touching black people's hair? I can't imagine ever doing that to another adult. I don't get people.

Hoppin John, Collards, Fried Chicken, and Cornbread are what we eat for New Years!

This has to be about the tenth time I've heard of such an incident.

When I was seven, I also drew a man and woman, anatomically correct and naked and stabbed with knives with the simple caption "YOU." I left the sketch taped to my grandfather's front door. He had just died, and my parents were selling his house. The realtor came by with a prospective couple, while I stood next door…

I can relate. I started to convince myself my dad was really a werewolf because I could hear him snoring at night.

Speaking of kids and underwear, when I was in kindergarten I had a HUGE crush on my older brother's best friend Sam, a sexy older man in the 4th grade. Every day after school, after Sam and my bro locked themselves in his bedroom to avoid me, I would slide my Little Mermaid panties, one by one, underneath the door. …

ohhh I used to squish my chin to make it look like Gaston's.

I can identity. I got a typewriter for Christmas when I was in the third grade and wrote my congressman A LOT. Mostly about being anti-vivisection. I actually mailed them.

When I was in 2nd grade, my class made gingerbread cookies. The teachers orchestrated an elaborate ruse where they pretended the gingerbread cookies ran away. They left flour trails around the school, and wrote messages from the gingerbread cookies with chalk. Messages like "Run run as fast as you can, can't catch…

I used to dress bananas up as "ladies" (this was achieved by scotch taping tissues around tip of the banana) and then steal a needle out of my grandmother's sewing kid and use it to poke holes into the banana stem. It made me feel SUPER excited, in a sort of proto-sexual way. I was about 6 or 7 when I did this, and as…

I flashed my class one time when I was old enough to know better. (Second grade, I think.) I remember my thought process so vividly too. I was like, 'Hmmm, you know what I've never seen is someone lifting their shirt up in the middle of class. I wonder why not. Imma do it and see what happens.'

I just remembered this recently. When I was six I threw a brick in the air and let it fall on my head. I pretended that the brick fell off the wall in front of my grandparents' house. I just wanted attention...

I had a running nose from 18 months to 3 years old. My Nana would refer to me as the snot nosed child and would not touch me for the most part. During this same time period my Mom notices that around the knees of my Dad's pants and coveralls would be this weird gunk. She kept asking him what he was doing, and he had…

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…