Partial Transcript

Sooooo...Trump couldn’t walk 200 feet at the G7, but today he found the strength to deliver a 2-hour blowjob.

Trump had a warm and lengthy meeting at the G-20 summit on Friday.

“It belongs in a Hobby Lobby!”

The show will be taped in front of a very uncomfortable studio audience.

Me? I’m pissed off that he has defiled the name of one of America’s finest food product creator

Christie: “Let them eat cake!”
Christie: [thinks for a moment]
Christie: “Wait...there’s cake?”

Nah, Conservatives mock Michelle Obama because they are racist and she makes them feel ugly and pointless inside by being both black and beautiful. Christie is obese because he is a greedy glutton who literally is able to stuff his face constantly, fed by the taxpayers money that he is ripping off them so yeah I say…

What a shitty mound of lard to die on.

That camel toe image is forever ingrained in my brain ughhhh

His feet look like tiny little beanbags. I’m surprised he doesn’t fall over more.

Fuck it, I’ll fat shame his shameful ass too...

Fyre in the hole.

Was the Fyre Festival fraud or just smart business? I’m not sure any more after January 20.

Welsh Sheepdog.

I have a mutt we got from a shelter - we reckon he’s a staffy crossed with something bigger (what, exactly, we have no idea), and his ears look like they were taken off a different dog entirely and stuck on the wrong place on his head. My mother-in-law, when we showed her his photo from the shelter, said he was “the…

Bojack Horseman is the king of pretty much everything, as far as I’m concerned. There were some questions on SNS yesterday about whether Will Arnett is really that talented, and if he’s a horrible asshole, and as far as I’m concerned, doing the voice of BoJack in BoJack Horseman means he can sit around on his butt…

It wasn’t until I watched the episode a second time that I got that joke. Hey, smile, indeed.