Kilometers? Sorry, I’m an American; how many gallons is that?

In case you thought that everyone knows how to Chipotle, have a picture of President Obama not knowing how Chipotle works.

That story about eating the $20...I mean, there are people who won’t handle ANY cash without gloves, because of how filthy it is. Plus, something like 114% of US currency has trace amounts of cocaine on it...then again, maybe that’s why he ate it.

For what it is worth, this guy is a lawyer.

Concur. Well, except that I’ve no interest in trying to like Miley Cyrus.

No matter what she does Miley is just not going to be one of the cool kids. I wish she would just accept it and move on.

My goodness. Miley sure is shaking up my square, conformist mindset. Has anyone seen my envelopes? Because I think they’ve all been pushed.

Well thank goodness. This is what we all really needed, at this troubling time.

Imagine a world where Yoko never tweets. Purity. Lightness. As the skyscraper avalanche poetry waltzes across the shimmery ocean sunset to piece of mind.

Listen here, Cady, I really enjoy you and all but I am NOT afraid to engage in fisticuffs over Idris.

He even looks good in questionable pants and a blurry picture. GOD MADE THIS ONE ON PURPOSE.

MADONNA, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU. STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN.

Cat, not car.

The instructions at Groupon are marvelous.

Next it will be man dog buns for dogs.

Goddamn.

Head-Tribbles.

Disembodied hair skeeves me out, man.

Already making ‘Merica Great Again.

I’m disappointed by the lack of salt and pepper options.