THE CORRECT ANSWER IS MOUSE DEER:

Breaks my heart. Religion is wack.

Except a lot of these women probably aren’t getting child support because of some fucked up logic in their minds where it’s better for them and their child to just not push for it. My niece’s father has like...I don’t even know...6 or 7 other kids? With several different women. And my sister won’t go after him for…

When you put it that way, all I can think is that that’s a frightening amount of barebacking and potential STI exposure.

I’m thinking he should use condoms that aren’t made out of paper.

200 kids

Williams said, “I’d probably have 200 kids if I didn’t use condoms.

Dads, having more kids will not increase your dadness. You have a fixed amount of dad, and you have to dad it equally among all your kids. Just dad a small daddable group of kids, and each kid will get more dad. That’s just sensible dadmath.

“I’d probably have 200 kids if I didn’t use condoms.”

People who use the term “life hack”, for anything, are fucking assholes.

That McDonalds story had me laughing- as a former late-night drive-thru stoner, yeah, that wasn’t weed they were smoking. You don’t get violent on weed- everything is just, you know, awesome. “This is the best Whopper I’ve ever had! Which is weird because we were at Taco Bell!”

Also, ‘dildochugger’ is my new favorite…

I’m going to have to find a way to incorporate dildochugger into my everyday vocabulary.

Oh he’s definitely a subscriber:

General theme of today’s stories: Men being creepy as fuck.

It’s funny because this applies TO ALL THOSE STORIES.

Ohhh gawd damn.... please, please, please let us peruse the poop stories

I gave up french fries last week. Fuck you, CA. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Jesus, each of these stories should have ended with a scalding bowl of soup to the dick for the men involved.

The story about the cancer-free anniversary “date” is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read. That’s some Ralph Wiggum/Lisa Simpson shit right there.