No one.

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

When I saw the movie I called my mom to tell her that they ran outtakes at the end of the film which including her scolding. She was mortified. I let her off the hook fast.

Who screwed up my wedding? Writer/Director David Mamet (young folks may know him as Zosia Mamet's father). He was filming a movie in my hometown the day of our wedding.

Any man who describes a woman as having "great morals" sets off my asshole radar.

It's 2015 and we're apparently still choosing women based on morals 'n motherhood — this show is just shy of checking the womens' teeth before the final rose is given. DAMMIT, WE'RE LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE GEORGE CLOONEY IS A TROPHY HUSBAND, WE SHOULD BE PAST THIS

Giuliana and pray tell what does your weave smell like?????

Also Kelly and Giuliana were recently praising Kylie Jenner for wearing her hair in locs, saying how edgy she looked...

Giuliani said "the president didn't grow up like we did."

Both segments were great, but my favorite is the first segment on Daily Show, where Sean Hannity is shown asking a NYC real estate developer how he would handle fighting the terrorist group ISIS.

Obama loves America, just not as much as Giuliani loves 9/11

LOL World Cup games also occurring in the middle of peak college football and NFL season. Networks must be losing their fucking minds.

Perhaps Amal has a picture of Kim on her wall to inspire her to be a strong woman, ala Beyonce.

Jamie Dornan, as if Universal's lawyers didn't make you sign an airtight contract. You're going to be on the hook for all three of these suckers, my little bae.

I mean, she's just so out of his league.

I just feel worried. How many fuckups could one family produce?

My theory is that the Bushes didn't want anyone else to know their kid was marrying a brown person. If you notice in the picture, the lighting makes her look pretty pale.

Who is Marvin Bush, you ask? Well, he hasn't screwed up countries, states, or banks to make headlines like his older brothers, but if you saw Oliver Stone's W, he was the kid that George W. Bush brought home drunk and/or high.

Subtext: My folks were so psyched about me marrying a foreigner, they didn't hire a photographer and the only people taking pictures were my mom and my fuckup teenage brother.

"My family is going to fuck this great nation up. Now lets boogie."