"Sexier than Jon Gosselin" AKA, it could be literally anyone.

Kelsey's diction and speaking voice creep me the fuck out. When she said "Or it's possible that they continued to delve into the wondrous lands of physical affection and smashing their faces together," I wanted to puke - she articulates things in unusual ways, using bigger words and unusual sentence structure where…

We will sit on the front porch of the general store, sipping our lemonade with mint leaves, rocking gently in the jasmine-scented breeze, as our great-grandchildren gather 'round our feet and beg to hear again the great epic, The Asseid.

Uhm. I could have a thousand kit kats for what my computer cost but I still need my fucking computer to do my work every day (so I can buy kit kats).

Aww shit, that first group should have collectively been stabbed in their faces. Sure, you would get in trouble, but at least you could walk with your head held high as the cops took you out to the squad car.

I was just going to say that everyone I've met from Andover smokes a hell of a lot of pot... Amongst other things.

I wish there was another day for submissions because I have a DOOZY from yesterday.

I'm Southern and just pretty damn happy it's not about us this week.

I was working at a marina. I ended up pumping this guy's gas into his boat. Now in his defense, I am wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and was just done with cutting down a tree, so I got scratches and shit all over me. I'm nine days into a two week shift there.

I work in customer service (front desk at a hotel), and the amount of people who attempt to get things comped amazes me on a daily basis. One woman insisted on being moved to a larger suite because she didn't like that there was no overhead lighting in her room - it didn't matter that there were only lamps in the…

The cheap tip thing baffles me. My husband and I were at a bar we frequent in Orlando the other day, and this group of people who had had several rounds of margaritas and beers without a single complaint get up to leave, and as they do, the guy who had paid beams at the bartender, taps the bar, and goes, "That's for…

Ugh.

My manager gave me a free meal that night for dealing with them. Silver lining?

I worked in doctors office. I collected the paper that held the diagnoses for you after you saw the doctor as well as your co-pay. When I told a guy his copay was 10 dollars, he gave me a "bill" and told me to keep the change and basically bolted out.

<popcorn.gif> Oh boy, this is gonna be good.

He turns to his bright-eyed eight year old, sitting but two feet from me, and says, "You see son? This is why you should stay in school."(FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

You can stop now, Midwestern Christians are not an oppressed group.

what relationship ??

Considering the only meaningful relationships in my life are books, about as long as it takes to drain the battery on my Kindle.