Ivanka?

Basically this, but I managed to make it to the hallway first

I find rubbing a little bit of tuna fish on my balls attracts them. What did you use?

I call drinking a fifth of vodka in the morning a “Saturday.”

Not wanting it to go to waste, I did a quarter ounce of cocaine, fucked my wife’s sister like I’ve always wanted to, called my boss and called him an old bald cocksucker, then burned my house down for fun.

This new Radiohead song sucks.

Tomi goes in for the score . . . REJECTION BY GOBERT!!! Oh my, what a play!

Simmons articles have been awful for a long long time (before grantland). Grantland was fantastic because of all the other writers on the site. Phillips, Browne, Morris, Lowe, Keri, Baker, Anderson etal were crushing it. The problem now is that everyone who writes for the ringer is terrible. Even the few who went over…

Grantland was good for Bill Barnwell and that’s about it. Glad he landed at ESPN. Now if only they would bring Mike Sando back from behind the Insider pay wall.

Grantland was great because Simmons has a good eye for talent. The Ringer sucks because other organizations poached the heavy lifters from Grantland and Bill’s increasing delusion of self is putting him out of touch with what made him successful in the first place.

You’re not understanding. The fact that Simmons is moving backwards and still is able to command blank checks for his vanity projects is -evidence- of his influence. He is able to influence people into giving him money

Oh you mean Johnny Bananas? He got robbed last time on Road Rules Challenge. Once he got snowed he wouldn’t shut up about it.

You mean you can’t relate to being at Magic Johnson’s house and realizing that you forgot the name of the C-list actor who just asked you to go into the bathroom to share a line of blow?

He once wrote a piece about how his daughter had gotten into hockey, specifically the LA Kings, and how when the Kings lost in the Stanley Cup Finals, she experienced her first bit of sports heartbreak. It was really well written, stayed away from all the usual Simmons schtick, and nailed how the experience of…

Yeah, losing Zach Lowe was a huge blow, too.

I enjoy the Ringer but it’s not nearly as good as Grantland was. Less long form pieces and he lost a lot of his best writers (Wesley Morris and Jonah Kerri for instance)

I actively visit the site because I believe good writers should have an outlet and, for as up his own ass as Simmons can be, he’s done an admirable job at giving those writers and outlet and paying them for it. That’s all to say I believe in what the Ringer stands for and want to support it but goddamn does most the…

I think that says more to ESPN’s massive mismanagement of the shift to nearly-all digital (see: declining subscription numbers they were in no way prepared for, dumping hundreds of employees that barely saved a dent in their bottom line) than it does of Simmons’ brand power now. He WAS the biggest writer at the…

Seriously though, this is like Donald Trump level shit. You really think Bill Simmons started blogs? Who do you think invented the internet, the head of CBS sports? Bud Celig?

LOL