Where’s “Shits self on live television, pretends not to enjoy it” ?

Yeah. “Selling out the primary mission of the agency” seems to be the most important skill to have if you want a government job these days.

Fits the pattern. The administration jobs tend to go to the people who are most devoted to destroying the agencies to which they’re appointed.

Every time I get really high I’m like “someone drugged me!” Which is true, because I am someone.

“hello the owner of this phone Courtney. I am buying an iPad.”

The gal I’m stuck watching football with would instead ask what’s on HGTV and why in the hell I hadn’t yet emptied the dishwasher.

Didn’t he lose this endorsement?

He gets his salsa from New York City

Iwona Alter, chief marketing officer for Jack in the Box

It is true that we never really know these people.

Payton’s play calling, partially caused by the Saint’s losing a handful of players at already thin positions, is what really cost the Saint’s the game. The Falcons’ biggest strength on defense is their sideline to sideline speed and Sean kept trying to run screens and end arounds, witch was made even worse with Kamara…

“Herm Edwards, who hasn’t coached football since 2008...”

I mean, he said all along, “one-and-done.” Your fault that you didn’t realize he was referring to months in school.

Lavar is Swahili for douche. True story.

“Gelo”? Pops is pudding his son in a bad situation.

Geez, the pitchforks are already out!

So, basically, Edwards doesn’t want to busy himself with the tedious day-t0-day shit that a college coach has to do that is different from an NFL head coach, but he will go to a recruit’s house if the recruit is really good and he, as the CEO, is needed to step in to close.

I have no doubt that he will put a lot of points on the scoreboard of life for everyone in this community.

Few things are more unsettling than seeing someone who is not charismatic trying to be charismatic.