Maybe this is a weird way of announcing he has dementia. Or Porkinson’s.

Thank you!!! That movie was hilarious. Awww now I miss John Candy and want to watch that again.

[Time: The weekend after Aquaman opens. Setting: The messy one-bedroom apartment of the Warner brothers. A faded Reservoir Dogs poster hangs on the wall.]

Man, all I got from my head injury is this persistent vegetative state.

Oh yeah, Paul’s 69th Letter to the Corinthians.

Damnit people, I keep telling you: it’s not enough to just cut off the head of shows like Crank Yankers, you have to bury it at a crossroads at midnight and cover the spot with a wooden stake.

They’re cutting editors? How they gonna do that WITHOUT ANY EDITORS

“Separate but equal. Nope, forget I said that.” - Jake Peralta.

It’s not hard to Hanks embodying a figure of such enormous evil. He also played Walt Disney

I take solace in knowing that by now, Hanks’s bookstore would’ve been run out of existence by an online retailer run by JK Simmons called, oh, I don’t know, Nile.  

My personal favorite is, “Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?” It’s just everything about the character in one line: he’s totally on to what they’re trying to do, he’s going to open a can of whup ass on these guys, but he’s also a nice guy who’s going to give everyone an out before anyone gets hurt.

It’s not that the Illithids can’t handle the drunks, it’s just that they get a horrible hangover from second-hand psionic buzz.

> Remember when you released Nutcracker VS Mothra or whatever that was

Disney, you’re releasing too many movies. Too many for anyone to care. What are you even doing?

Will Smith really blue himself

On the one hand, it plays as a great superhero one liner, and on the other, it works as pure Steve Rogers earnestness. Like, he really can’t see it as not being personal.

I’d agree with you, but your entire statement was bullshit. Minorities are not the only ones who have been fighting for civil rights. “Cis white people” have been fighting as well, and liberals of all colors and backgrounds have been trying to educate these neanderthals as to why racism is bad, dumb, and pointless for…

THEN YOU CAN ROT IN HELL YOU FUCK!

The writers for this season are really phoning it in.

Pecker really thought he could shaft Bezos on this, but Bezos was harder than expected and wouldn’t dick about with threats to his manhood. I guess you could say it was a real cock-up on Pecker’s part.