On the first day of Christmas,

That movie has been made, with Michael Caine as an idiot actor portraying a Holmes created by Watson, played by Ben Kingsley. Without A Clue.

God bless us F-eryone!

An F! A glorious F! It’s a Christmas miracle! Thank you, St. Ignatiy! Thank you for the amount and depth of film and literary history to a pan of economics-driven filmic shovelware! I didn’t expect to learn about the provenance of Sherlock Holmes adaptations and original texts. 

fuck under employed. I’d do it on my day off from my full time film job.

Mon Dieu!

since Chiwetel Ejiofor literally got cucked by Rick Grimes

I was never in the woodwork! I’ve been at my spot in Times Square for more than 10 years now heralding Death to Smoochy. 

“We all know Aladdin was born and raised in Wisconsin to ethnic Germans, you revisionist commies!”

At the current rate these too wackos are going, it’s not even going to be in the top 100 things that Azealia Banks and Jack Dorsey did that will make future generations shake their heads sadly at us.

Oof!

Look, maybe it’s a manipulative tactic, maybe it’s a cry for help. It’s a little too early to say, especially as we don’t know the guy personally or the details of his mental health. Do we have to jump to immediately piling on him in what’s clearly an emotional time for him? Yes, he has resources at his disposal, but…

Colin Kroll, 35-year-old co-founder of Vine and HQ Trivia, has reportedly been found dead

You are a superlative parent.

My favorite part was watching it on PBS with Laura Linney. “For no damn reason, here’s Laura Linney” was an oft-repeated line in our household, as she’d show up to introduce each episode while having no discernable connection to the actual show, or Edwardian England in general, and her introductions were completely…

Part of me thinks he’d like to live in the corner of the multiverse where, instead of the (IMO) increasingly unsatisfying Cornetto trilogy, Wright-Pegg-Frost instead collaborated on a bunch of Shaun-pun themed horror comedies.

I’ll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognize Missouruh!

I think we can all agree, though, that America has too many states. Please eliminate three of them.

“too many *for critics, award shows, and advertising” For those of us without obligations to watch everything all the time we just have lots of options.

I think there is something lost in translation in both directions. I think she took something away from it that was not intended or implied by their offer, and I think in turn something is being taken away from her statements that is probably harsher than intended.

I think the genesis of this problem is that for some…