Pete Carrol: “I didn’t the issue in what occurred or didn’t because the game ended correctly. In my understanding of football every game ends in a failed pass attempt.”

The small-batch spirit movement is getting out of hand.

I hear Trump is going to look after their finances and Cosby is the new team doctor (I know he was only a dr. on tv but this is the Browns, don’t worry about it, they won’t know).

Jupiter is in retrograde and the chimes of Old Vassiloth are tinkling in a cold Martian wind rolling over the frozen shoulders of Olympus Mons. Huginn and Muninn sit on the captain’s shoulders and he is lost in the ocean between his ears.

“I went one step better and left behind unused ones.” - Shawn Kemp

Why no, I’ve never sang along to a Backstreet Boys song before. Who does that?

My wife took me to Texas de Brazil for my birthday one year and expected sex afterwards. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, LADY.

Car for sure has the most blackmail material. Driving infractions, farts, profanity, Taco Bell orders, bad dancing, Taco Bell farts, so many renditions of “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” conversations you have with yourself, emotional meltdowns, etc.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise a kid. In fact, it’s cold as hell.

Pffft, when all of those out of work coal miners get their free Liberal Arts degrees you Bernie Bros are going to be eating some serious crow.

Ugh. Bernie Sanders is a con man. He is Donald Trump writ small.

STFU, Hamilton.

I don’t buy Tiger’s excuse. The absolute best time to golf is when your game is under par.

OK, but what the fuck does Mike Tomlin have to do with it?

Mike Tannenbaum signing washed up veterans in an effort to go 9-7 while fucking up the cap for the foreseeable future? I am shocked. Did not see this coming at all!

But hey, if all these Pro Bowlers of yore down in Miami are looking for an unlicensed financial manager who can totally relate to what they’re going through, I know a guy.

Led by Mike Tannenbaum

Enjoy it while it lasts Big Tens. They secured access to Time Warner just as millions a year are fleeing cable at an increasing rate. Enjoy splitting on line subscriber fees with Rutgers and the two dozen football fans it brings to the table ten years from now.