Now that USWNT has been eliminated what team should I pretend to be a longtime fan of, field hockey or volleyball?

Speaking of dying, when senior week ends, what happens? I’ll need my Burneko fix somewhere. No disrespect to your colleagues, but you and Magary kill it on here. Does this just disappear? I don’t want to see Hamilton Nolan writing the sequel to the communist manifesto on stolen toilet paper in Grand Central. Tell me…

This dude needs to be on the NSA and CDC watch list ASAP. If you can’t aim, use toilet paper, sicko!

I’d definitely watch soccer that doesn’t deny the great evolutionary advantage of opposable thumbs.

If this was Jezebel, the title would’ve been “Entitled White Male Harasses Chinese Woman Online, Gets What He Deserves.”

CLEARLY homeboy never saw the Terminal

Is there a freshman seminar on this shit at Baylor or is it more of a self-selecting thing?

Glad they really changed the culture around there. Things were starting to look bad.

My eyes are down here!!!

no, it is inflated by about $49,997.73.

They were Western Conference Finalists. How is that not worthy of a banner?

“The NBA last season was, functionally, a three-team race.”

Always masturbation truthers

Who better to take advice on taking less shots than Carmelo Anthony?

Yeah he did.

Well, it would be actually kind of refreshing to find out a Warriors player knew how to grab something by the throat.

Like Draymond, the Deadspin commentariat has never been known to shy away from the low-hanging fruit.

Did you know Draymond Green was once suspended for a pattern of hitting people in the dick and balls?