Much like the tourists were tired of dinosaurs in Jurassic World, I’m tired of Jurassic World movies. The only solution is to genetically engineer a new Jurassic World movie that eats people.

The masks are saturated with Illuminati-engineered micro-chemtrails. Every time you exhale through a mask, it disperses a cloud of woke mind virus particles.

Heynow, acting in a crap franchise that only had one good movie bought Michael Caine a house!

There’ve been persistent rumors that he’ll appear as Mephisto in an upcoming MCU show or movie (or both.) You’ll see and hear a lot more of him in the next year or three.

Or the Emperor who thought Mozart used too many notes and needed to cut a few.

Man, I can’t believe how long it’s been since JT Walsh died. He died in 1998. He died before Phil Hartman died.

We’re one step closer to a big-budget thriller about urban planning.

Ugh, we lost a legendary “that guy” today. I love and excessively cite Ebert’s rule that any movie with M. Emmet Walsh or Harry Dean Stanton in it is worth seeing off their presence alone, even if brief.

Elon Musk begins posting hardcore porn to Twitter going “I’m owning them so bad right now hahaha”

See when people talk about how there is no longer any common political ground...they’re obviously not taking Sydney Sweeney’s boobs into account.

I’d rather let them think liberals hate them if it means we get more of them.

I think as a liberal, I can speak as an authority on this subject and assure conservatives that I do not, in fact, hate Sydney Sweeney’s boobs. 

Santa comes...

I try to keep the spirit of both with me, all through the year.

Q: What do Christmas and Sydney Sweeney’s boobs have in common?

“Wrote” on them? Sure.

Poe wrote on them?

“Q: What do Christmas and Sydney Sweeney’s boobs have in common?”

And Justin Timberlake is worse than Hitler, somehow. What, you don’t know why? Why, all the cool pop-culture sites are talking about it, and if you don’t know why he’s worse than Hitler- well, I’m not going to bother explaining it to you.

That’s a fair reaction. I will only clarify that I’m not really looking for quipping and lampshading, just a little light to cast the shadows in sharper relief. Sopranos and Breaking Bad, two of my very favorites, were both dark as could be much of the time, but also were extremely funny at times. And it was…