That isn’t America specific. Europe is all about bottled water. Hell, you will get bottle water in lots of places if you don’t specify tap.

I seriously know someone who could have sent these.

Oh... oh no.

I have been waiting all my life to share these (disturbing) sexts with the Internet. I knew I saved them for a reason. They are from a dude I met at a party 5 years ago and he sent them to me out of the blue one Saturday morning. I was NOT DOWN to get them.

I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…

Not grim per se but really embarrassing. The very first sext I ever sent was also the very first text I ever sent. Yeah, I refused to get a cell phone for years and then caved and got one. I thought I had it all figured out, hammered out “I’m horny” and hit send to who I thought was my husband. Turns out it was sent…

She sounds hideous.

“I would eat cereal out of your asshole”

The most interesting pre-date comment I ever got was, “Would you be into pegging me?” (I wasn’t, sadly. But I did go on the date, because why not? He was nice.)

Well she sounds hideous!

He sounds hideous.

I hope this was before your first date.

Anything that began “If I was single, I would....”

I’m actually pretty much in the same boat as you, here: if what he’s saying is true, that’s awesome that he stood up for his employee...but this is not how you do that. This is fucking crazy town. You can even be snarky at her without stooping to calling her a cunt. There’s not really a circumstance that makes that…

For some reason, the slowly swinging earrings make that gif a bajillion times better.

What the hell did I just read?

I’m a middle-aged white guy. A lawyer for more than 25 years, a professional. No criminal record. If I got drunk on a plane and assaulted a flight attendant, I would expect to spend several years at some not-so-friendly federal prison camp, at the very least, maybe even a FCI.

45 days? Jesus. I got a dui in California in 1992 and I lost my license for six months.

Judging by the pink shirts she was clearly attempting to raise awareness of colon cancer.