This is hilarious. There are plenty of real women who could easily do the job. Hell there were women 30 years ago that could have done it.

I don't buy it. Late show hosts only come in two flavors.

That was my mom's reaction: "you just don't talk about anyone else's kids. Especially once they're teenagers. Just shut up."

Nellie had it coming.

I guess if you're Black, female and under 18 you're supposed to wear a school uniform at all times so people can differentiate you from all the teenage bar floozies. And after you turn 18 military garb or clothing clearly displaying your university's logo.

"Praying" is code for 'fogive me, crazy right-wing Christian mamas who think I went over the line criticizing these girls'. When you "pray" and find your way, it means that Jesus forgives you.

Lauten's press release mentioned that she prayed about this after all the backlash.

It was an honest mistake... she meant to call them thugs.

my goal tonight was to not cry…WELL YOU FUCKED THAT ONE THING FOR ME REBECCA HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?!?

The butt is way too small, but the poop emoticon is dead on!

Future vegetarian! :)

Raccoon playing water harp approves

Then she said "you know we have to stop eating beef, right?" and I realized, shit I'm gonna have to stop eating beef. Right now. A snuggling cow can't be unseen.

I actually thought... I actually thought there might really be a squirrel playing a little teeny flute. I'm so embarrassed :(

This is kind of what I was thinking. If this lady thinks POTUS and FLOTUS are bad role models, how fucked is the average black kid in her eyes?

Yes. My sister had a wonderful, compassionate, adorable boyfriend of years that died from cancer. My twin sister shaved her head in solidarity. My mother in law railed against "gay lesbians" and told me to tell my twin that she needs a makeover because she looks like a dyke. At the Thanksgiving table, all while…

It sounds more like you wish someone stabbed your mother-in-law. Maybe next year I should start offering Black Friday deals on wet work...