I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

I thought we established he didn't know how to shoot.

As it turns out, the camera operator was Markelle Fultz.

Not to defend the governor here, but Foxhoven was often described by his colleagues as “Makavelian.”

He’s with the Angels, now still.

.

Knicks: *Shoot own dick*
Knicks: *Cut off remaining dick*
Knicks: Fixed it! *Pats self on back*

Man, if only they’d started talking about voter fraud or the migrant caravan instead of their shitty football teams, they’d probably be the best of friends.

Come back and finish your headline Gabe!

Getting paid to not do your job: The American Nightmare.

He’s a kicker, not a punter.

It’s all good. Time for Daniel Carlson to take the next step and become a frequent Deadspin commenter.

Goodell: “Wait a sec, you mean I can CHARGE people for the right to punish them?”

*head explodes*

White-Collar Crime Is Apparently Not Enough To Halt An NFL Career

Pete Carroll can’t resist a good inside job. 

We get it, Brady isn’t a receiver. You don’t have to rub his nose in it. 

Todd Frazier is going to hell—which I hear actually has a better baseball team

Trump didn’t realize the biggest problem with building the wall was that the illegal aliens could just levitate over it.