You look depressed, have some semen.

The sport (if we are calling it that now) was made to be played drunk.

Odd . . . I find myself doing housework to avoid spending time with my bratty kids.

This will never happen:

Half of them anyway.

His new biography should be called 50 Shades of Yellow.

"Toast" is too general.

Who the hell knows? I put so much on my ass that night it could have been any one thing or a combination of all of them. Broken bone? Sprinkle a little ACV on it and go bed. When you wake up the next morning, it will have healed. God bless ACV.

Yes. It burned.

Yes. Don't go into it lightly.

This is not an easy subject to broach but I do want to write about it. I developed a hemorrhoid. It’s not the first one I’ve ever had; I sit between 10-12 hours a day. This one was different however because it was angry. The pain was significant.

Good grief. This was exhausting.

Careful now. Apparently he will P90X all over your face.

I worry for this generation if Issac is a 'straight up G."

Hey Joe, they tried this on Gawer. I left beacause of it. If anything if failed to stimulate good commenting and the trolls overtook the place. If there was good conversation, I was unsure how to access it.

These tweets have something in common with Adam Corolla: they aren't funny.

Giz is takin' a folksy approach to writin', ya hear?

"They still have ~4 months to screw it up... Or come out swinging with a great price."

Ok. Thank you. That must be it. From experience, the fever was usually mild. I can't speak for other parents though.

These old timey diseases are going to lead to Hipster patients. Hey, I'm dying of Diptheria; you probably haven't heard of it.