I have a friend who is doing this. She says she just wants to limit the amount of vaccines going into her baby's body at any one time. I really don't understand the logic behind this.

Ding-Dang and his iPad2

Confession time. I spilled the water. Oh and I ate your soul but I'm really sorry about the water thing.

You wished me cansir but misspelled 'cancer.' Awesome.

Yet she, like many women, gets nothing for faking her orgasms. Sad.

Waiting patiently for the Green Lantern Appletini glass.

His defense: The prosthetic arm became self-aware and committed the murder on its own.

I can't believe they gave her the video. I know she paid for it but that could be used against the company for negligence. I at least wouldn't have edited it and added a bed of music.

On the plus side, if she leaves her glass of burgundy wine on our memory foam bed during intercourse, it doesn't spill. This was a huge problem for us on our old coil mattress.

I'm going to do a House of Sand and Fog and The Hours Marathon because I'm tired of feeling peppy.

Certainly he would use it for just more than that? What about Shark Week?

The FBI is intentionally leaking documents the same way Hip-Hop Artists leak their latest tracks.

Rule # 5 for life: Anything that will be ingested, used as a topical, or put in an orifice, should never be purchased at the dollar store.

After a week of primitive camping with no access to showers, I would have prostituted myself for a warm shower with no regrets.

This is why I quit having sex with gorillas.

Whatever. Unicorns are total sluts. This is known.

The sound of my poop being flushed.

I enjoyed that. Great comment.

You mean thee Auntie Annie?

You're in luck, I just read her profile: