I have the strangest boner right now.

Marry me.

This is a case where I think just about everyone involved is an asshole. My opinion.

wut?

I believe BYU had a rule that when men are visiting women's dorm rooms or vice versa, everyone's feet must be on the floor . . . at all times. Because that would stop people from - you know - having sex.

Do you remember that last time you smiled?

This commerical wins because the teleport dude is wearing Reebok Pumps.

Hey I was driving by there in my car at the when that happened. I didn't see her fall though. I was texting. She really needs to be more careful.

Has anyone ever stopped to consider that sexy people more likely to commit crimes?

Yo hoe,

Is this system loud enough to drown out the voice in my head that asks, "You spent $3,000.00 on 5.1 speakers? You are a douche canoe."

No idea where he would have gotten this idea.

Jesus. I enjoy his articles bht reading his comments are like witnessing an alcoholic father scold his retarded child for flubbing an answer in Trival Pursuit.

Dude. You're getting Adele.

Pretty much sums up everything written by David Mamet.

That said. Lakes are grosser.

As a man, I love it when older women call me 'honey' or 'sweetheart'. I can't really explain why that is other than it makes me feel very comfortable.

I read you loud and clear, toots.

I can't way to go outfit shopping to show off my new found girth.

I'm a peep, and I approve this message.