My father would the perfect recipient for this. Of course upon giving him any one of these, I can hear him say, "I hope you didn't spend too much on this piece of shit. Here. Take it back. I don't need it."

What's the Dothraki word for 'guyliner'?

A group of Jesus babies is a called a 'murder'.

It's a Christmas miracle!

What will become of the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slug?

Whatever. My white Father, in the CIA, gave his life so those same African children could have meth. No respect.

And yet another example of Walmart destroying small business.

So true. No diet has left me as hungry as Atkins. My wife and I tried it. We went crazy. I came home from work and found her on the kitchen floor eating an entire french bread. She knew I was there but she never made eye contact. We never discussed that day.

Sup bitches? You want some of me?

Yes very happy. We laugh quite a bit. I often tell people we are just like Ike and Tina Turner, only I'm not abusive and she can't sing for shit.

The secret to marriage is not killing each other over the most mundane of things.

People who text and drive make me sick. Besides I'm too busy watching Finding Nemo on my in-dash DVD, looking at my GPS which I have serious trust issues with, and playing Angry Birds with my nose (I have the iPhone attached to my steering wheel) to have time to send txts.

And so bursts the story bubble of the kindly perv out to help women needing extra cash for school.

But they are still getting married right? I mean the invitations already went out in the mail. And I've purchased several gifts off their registry. Jesus H. Christ, whatever happeend to working things out?

Being 1/16th Cherokee, I feel pretty good about this apology.

Kaiser Soze streams Crackle?

Walking in a Winter Wonderland by Annie Lennox hurts my soul. Sorry Annie.

So if this happened in America, the woman would not have been arrested, right? I don't think this qualifies under the law as hate speech in the classic sense. And they cannot prove without a doubt that she was drunk. So what, if anything, could she have been arrested on.

"My solution is to buy only movies that are action orientated because that's where you get the most bang for your buck"