I just got a Tivo a couple of weeks ago. It has a wonderful Pandora interface and great search functionality across Netflix, Amazon, HuluPlus, and Blockbuster.

So she's single then, right?

I'll tell you when you're older.

Hey, this is Chet with DNA11. I just wanted to let you know that we finshed your rug and it will be shipping in two days. Also, you will develop Huntington's Disease for which there is no cure. Oh, wait. I was wrong. I am so sorry. It's shipping in five days. Thank you for your business. *click*

Crap. I sure do.

Or both.

Dirty talk on the pill:

So the one calorie was really my dentin?

YES to both questions.

Apple Spokesperson: We forgot about Dre.

Dubstep makes me think of Ross.

Book Neck? Is that like Kindle kink or Nook crook?

I'm quite proud of the fact that I've never fought another human being. I either embroiled someone else into my war and had them do my fighting for me, or I ran the fuck away.

Speechless. Hearted.

Do they at least validate parking if you promise not to get an abortion?

Me Too.

Yeah nothing gets me hotter than Rodeo or Appalachian Spring.

Occupy Sesame Street was brought to you today by the letters 'F' and 'U' and the number '0'.