Apple IIE - Duo Disk Drive. My father actually still uses it for playing midi files. I've owned Apple computers all of my life.

Smug: Just got a text from my BF. You might remember him from when we used to play kickball as kids. He was ghostman on first. I never thought he liked me but here I am living the dream.

How is such an inbred dog worth $1,200.00?

Seems kind of mean to call him a jerk for that. I doubt he wanted it to happen that fast either.

THIS IS IRONY

So Nas is a black jew?

Help me to see find the pun.

Wait, you just described divorce.

So it's kind of like a cell phone contract. And just like cell phone contracts, there should be stiff penalties for roaming.

So you were at that party too, eh? Nice work.

If they taxed butter in this country, Paula Dean and The Barefoot Contessa would be broke.

This reminds me of the early 90's when I couldn't afford a pager. I came up with a great solution for having to leave social situaitons early until some wise ass realized what was really clipped to my belt was a garage door remote.

My father was a great escape artist too, but instead of escaping padlocks with just a bobby pin, he would escape marriage and child-rearing with "I'm going to the bar."

What are you doing, Dave? Wait? Really? What are you . . . oooohhhh!

So if they raise their prices like Netflix did, what will their customer base do?

I played football in high school. The coach asked me to try special teams. I was on the receiving team and was supposed to block. A dude known as Casa Grande hit me running at full speed and for just 2 - 3 seconds everything was blue. I could see no other color. After it was over, I immediately asked to be takend…

It's okay. It happens to the best of us.

THAT'S NOT ROSIE!! It's Andy Samberg. Jeeze.

No. No. You are misreading the signs. God doesn't want you to be a town clerk.

If I was Danarius the thing I'd be most pissed about would be having eaten a whole horse heart for nothing.