It's not that we turn into babies, it's just that WE are the ones complaining for a change. ;)

It's time. I used to enjoy his segments. I read a few of his books. But it's time.

What I do while I'm watching the Teletubbies is my own business. K?

It's a relief to know that I'm not the only one who watches TV while standing naked. Phew.

Now he's frito-lay in peace.

I was begging them for a free t-shirt like a dumbass in 99.

I guess I'm a little old. Can you youngsters explain what synthetic marijuana is. Is that like a pot/polyester blend?

If he was Irish, the fire must have burned for days.

I tried to talk about religion once with my Mother-In-Law. She said, "You really believe there is no god?" "Yes", I said. "Nobody? Nothing?", she asked again. "Yes", I repeated. Awkward silence. The coversation was over.

I'm an atheist. When my son was going through cancer treatment, I was told by friend, families, and strangers alike that they would pray for me. For some strange reason I felt touched by this.

Stem cells in the eye? This surgery should be called "The Money Shot Procedure".

"Who the hell do you think you are? Come at me, bro."

I'm so tired of being used for my sexy DNA.

Tell the rat you're feeding him sharp cheddar but really give him Brie. It will drive him nukinfuntz.

Alcohol inhibits restful sleep. Try marijuana instead. Good luck with your insomnia.

Got'cha. Just found Jesus' alt. account.

I am in the process of cutting the cord. I hooked the rabbit ears to my HDTV and my eyes were treated to "The Best of Billy Graham", "Benny Hill", and "He-Man". Wow, over the air TV hasn't changed since I was seven.

Crumbs, chief!

Hey. Don't dump on me.