You're in good company. Keeping track of what is tip-worthy is kind of silly. I'm not going to lose an ear over it or anything. But it's getting a little crazy.

" Can't we just pay people decent wages instead and stop with the grey economy?"

I'm sorry but some of these professions I would just never tip.

*Looks down at floor*

Wow. Is that tr . . . right. I see what you did there. The power of statistics.

45% of all statistics are used to distort the truth. This one is no exception.

It doesn't have to be a CFL. It just has to be more efficient than the older standard Synchotron.

One brain.

Oh yeah. She gets crazy.

I want them to release a blooper real of Alex Guarnaschelli so I don't hate her so much.

It smells like victory.

It's true but cream cheese by itself is sort of gross.

"My wife is best friends with a couple who has a black friend."

I know. I could get over it. I slept in amniotic fluids before — slept like a baby too.

When we bought our Tempurpedic they tried to sell me a waterproof sheet. No way was I going to spend an extra $50.00 to protect my $2,500.00 bed - that'd be crazy! The salesperson just glared at me and threw it in for free. Now I know why.

I'm confused. This doesn't follow with the GOP play book. He should have said his wife was battling with the bottle, or drugs, or demons (literal demons). It seems to me he went about this all wrong. Generally it works like this:

Because the $300.00 are three times as good. Duh.

Ever heard of a bolt from the blue? You can be outside on what appears to be a clear day and still get struck.

"I'm loving the placenta Napoleons but I'm not tasting wheat grass.

That reminds me. "Chopped" is on tonight.