The best off-road vehicle has ever been a stout horse.

George Washington rode on horses.

George Washington.

George Washington travelled on horses.

Will nobody at Jezebel defend the royals? I knew I would discredit them eventually, but the completeness of my victory brings me no joy. Alexander must have felt this way when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.

I believe it’s safe to say that if you already disliked the British Royal Family, this article will not change your mind.

Britain is a deeply silly place whose ruling class practices snottiness as a life philosophy. George Washington fought a war so my tax dollars wouldn’t pay for airing effete English drivel like Downtown Abbey on American public television, yet there it is. Disgraceful.

These embarrassing weirdos would still be our Lords and Monarchs had George Washington not ejected them from our lusty shores.

The end is nigh. The ship of state has begun to take on water. It cannot survive the loss of Queen Elizabeth’s captaincy.

The final triumph of George Washington is within sight.

As a turncoat, Meg should’ve flown to the Queen’s side.

I will, and I hope you take a vacation from your customary curmudgeonry. Already you have made a positive start.

The English monarchy is headed for an orderly dissolution. Nothing can stop it. Should have happened roughly 40 years ago. It was only the sentimentality engendered by Liz’s connection to England’s glorious imperial past that delayed the dissolution.

It is heartening to see Anti-Royalism in the ascendant at Kinja after long dreary years of Royalist sycophancy.

This legislation is long overdue.

I don’t know.

They were his personal friends.  Bloodletting was high-level medical care back in the day.

His doctors probably killed him with excessive bloodletting.

No. That’s amazing.

I ask myself that question every day.