It is past time for Americans to ask how their government and media elites were so thoroughly captured by the cretinous Saudi royal family. We Russian trolls have been cynically portrayed as all-powerful villains by U.S. elites, but they know very well that Russian trolls possess but a sliver of the influence wielded…

I can’t condone ska artists getting paid more. They should get less.

The State Department, in any other administration, would likely be taking an extremely involved, overtly public-facing role in investigating journalist Jamal Khashoggi’s disappearance.

Some Americans may not want to hear this, but Trump’s column largely consists of warmed-over talking points peddled by Hillary Clinton’s campaign in 2016 to attack Bernie Sanders. These scurrilous Hillary talking points were echoed in 2016 by many faux-progressive heroes of today’s “Resistance” —an embarrassing fact…

A friendly reminder: today is President Putin’s 66th birthday. Celebrate responsibly and be respectful of your neighbors.

Note to Democrats: working through official channels to investigate Kavanaugh probably won’t get you where you want to go. If you want the good dirt on Kavanaugh, you’ll need to be willing to go off the grid for help, bend some rules, and work with people you may have had disagreements with in the past. Don’t let old…

Try contacting the nearest Russian consulate. We just got a huge batch of new files. I can’t guarantee we have yours, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Death to teal-drenched movies. Red dawn is upon us.

Typo: “alcohol addition”

Why all this whining? The FBI’s investigation of Kavanaugh was no more limited than the Obama administration’s investigations of the Wall Street banks that almost destroyed the world in 2008, and President Obama assured us those investigations were both tough and thorough.

Star Wars is infantile rubbish that America should have outgrown decades ago.  Just because it’s a Russian troll telling you this doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Tragic news coming on the heels of Burt Reynolds’ passing. The two iconic American mustaches — one gone, the other fading. America may never recover.

Not dying on stage can be bad too. GG Allin always swore he’d commit suicide on stage someday, but instead died of an unintentional heroin overdose. He cheated his fans and he cheated himself. Tragic.

Russian trolls are all-in for Elizabeth in 2020, just as we were for Bernie and Jill in 2016! Sorry about that Donald thing, but it was a regrettable necessity after Bernie’s defeat. Putting Hillary Clinton in the White House would have been a death sentence for American progressivism. We couldn’t allow that. For…

Like all trolls, Devo surely knew they were doomed to be misunderstood and vilified in their day. It’s not until many years later, when your detractors have obtained universal healthcare, that they begin to comprehend your plans and see you as a friend who was compelled by tactical considerations to play the villain.

Let us all watch The Star Wars Holiday Special tonight in Marty’s honor.

American progressives must realize that there comes a time when one’s self-respect requires a willingness to draw a line in the sand and say “this far, and no further!” And you must mean it when you say it. Otherwise you will continue to be the Democratic Party’s bitch for eternity. We Russian trolls keep telling you…

It’s just standard concern trolling. I personally enjoy concern trolling unsavory characters such as the Republican Party, but I would never derive pleasure from subjecting my American progressive friends to concern trolling, unlike Tom Perez, who seems to have a real taste for it. As with most Democratic Party apparat…

Accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.