Martha even found a way to make prison charmingly quaint. She went away for selling stock on an insider tip to avoid a $45,000 loss — which in the context of today’s nakedly lawless plutocracy feels only slightly more sinister than jaywalking.

Puerto Rico needs a strong foreign ally. That’s the only thing that Americans respect.

America will always need the guiding hand of behind-the-scenes operators who know uncoolness when they see it.  Such was Gary Kurtz.

Maybe red will become the new teal. We can only hope. When this plague of teal movies finally ends, everyone will wonder how we all tolerated it for so long.

Of course it’s tedious. That’s how desensitization works. Russian govt. talking points can’t become normal background noise until they become boring.

We Russian trolls deserve a Pulitzer Prize for exposing the Democratic Party’s rigging of its presidential primary on behalf of Hillary Clinton.

Leave no trace — except for a massive carbon footprint in the Earth’s atmosphere.

Perhaps President Trump had in mind the recent volcanic eruptions in Hawaii — which were among the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of lava.

There are many liquids other than water. Trump could have just said the storm was wet, but then you Democrats would criticize him for not specifying which liquid caused the wetness.

Kathleen Hanna has betrayed every progressive value she once professed to hold dear, as evidenced by her shameful complicity with Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign. We Russian trolls abhor her lack of principles. We remain steadfastly committed to promoting progressive American politicians like Bernie Sanders and Jill…

Probably would have been a good idea for American liberals to demand comprehensive surveillance reform after the Snowden revelations. Unfortunately MSNBC-watching liberals were uninterested, largely because they regarded Snowden as a traitor who had embarrassed Great Progressive Leader Barack Obama.  America is such a …

We Russian trolls applaud these transparency initiatives. We are operating openly now because we believe it is time for everybody to lay their cards on the table. Next step is to expose all details of Israeli and Saudi influence operations. Let them come into the sunlight as we Russians have. You Americans need to…

Venom’s Welcome To Hell (1981) is one of the most influential records in the history of heavy music. Even some alternative rock artists name-check it. Could be the most consequential off-chart record of the year.

Eric Holder / Adam Schiff.

Zazz Blammymatazz - Atomic Clown:

Whenever I’m in America I buy Trader Joe’s Organic Sumatra.  I’ve turned on all my co-workers to it as well. Russian trolls love the flavor.

All lossy audio files are rubbish. You’re better off without them. Demand quality.  Get the CD, then rip it to a lossless FLAC or WAV. Now you have undiluted CD sound quality in a digital file that you own and can do with as you please. Just remember to back up the files to a redundant hard drive or your server in St.…

You Americans are fools to place any faith in this streaming nonsense, which is just a rental masquerading as ownership. In Russia we are hoarding CDs, DVDs, and Blu-rays while they are still available. That is real ownership. If you Americans had any sense, you’d do the same, but you don’t. Someday we’ll sell all…

If Medicare For All advocates are now ethically flexible enough to accept PAC money, can they be persuaded to accept help from Russian social media operatives? We bring proven expertise to the table, and we expect nothing in repayment — because unlike wealthy PAC donors, we consider a good deed to be its own reward.