This. Don't ask me how.

Swear to god...I was scrolling through your list, thinking, "sure, these are all good options, but a Volvo 1800 would be the shit with a F40 drivetrain." Great minds, as they say...

And what of Herr Hulkenberg? A bit young to be thrown into the "retired" category, eh?

I'm a native Portlander. I had a green Saab ('86 900Turbo). It was destroyed by methheads. I am still sad. I think I'll need a Kleenex or two in order to watch this.

She may have done you the biggest favor a wife could have, at least with your pants still on.

Should say "Lil' Bastard"

To help prove my point, here's a real-life example using Rod, our asshole Midwestern attorney friend who seemed to think he should get $50 off for every single time a fly landed on the car. Rod noticed a minor discrepancy on the Carfax report: at some point in 2007, the car passed emissions with 4,759 miles and was…

I already have... :-/

"...trust the source"

"Colon attack" — Snort! I am soooo stealing that line! Thanks!

Those are his two tickets to the gun show.

Well, that was a bitch slap of epic proportions.

Yay, free markets! </sarcasm>

Your wish is granted. http://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity…

Women had accused Bill Cosby of rape for years too.

It's right next to the fondue fork.

There's a damn good reason Switzerland doesn't find itself embroiled in wars. Nobody is willing to mess with the Swiss. Because knives.

Ya' beat me to it. Good on ya!

Hey, he's been doing pretty good at not crashing lately...