(Standard disclaimer: there is no Friend Zone, there are just people who don’t want to date or sleep with you.)

I always scroll past the trump tweets as quick as possible, because nope thanks, but I feel like I’ve seen “READ THE TRANSCRIPT” everyday for like a week..?

He can’t be a dildo, a dildo has a job!

As the son of a rich white man, I know I’m not allowed to have an opinion, let alone voice it these days.

#Won’tYouPleaseThinkOfTheBillionairesThePoorDears!

You forgot Sean Doolittle, who is the very best of the Nationals. Doo is the best. He had the guts to state publicly why he wasn’t going. And he and his wife walk the walk and talk the talk in community activism. They hosted Thanksgiving dinner for Syrian refugees and got the community involved, when he was with…

Esther, it feels like everything is on borrowed time at this point, so I just wanted to say thanks for all your work here. Jezebel has been “my” corner of the internet for 8 years, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that there were some days when looking forward to reading Jez was the one thing I could bring myself…

(while I’m making rules, if you’re requiring people to wear heels you want to continue to participate in society without being branded as a pariah, you are not allowed to have a cash bar)

Ugggh. So her soon to be ex-husband choreographs a revenge porn campaign against her, and she resigns her position. Ugh. 

the suggestion that a woman schedule a premarital exam ‘to confirm that her body is ready for sex’ and explore using a vaginal dilator

So, a number of people here are saying that this is BS because it really isn’t attacking people with type 1 diabetes, or people are just looking to get offended, or whatever. To all of those who think that, I have to ask - have you ever found the joke funny? The first time you heard someone say it, did you laugh and…

If a judge rules the credit is shared, does that make them each 50% that bitch?

How is this even a competition? Martha for every win.

It’s a great face. To hell with symmetry and “normal” features; interesting faces age way better and never stop being fascinating. 

Are these hideous, overpriced Croc-knockoffs sold by a MAGA dipshit OK?

Er, what’s with the random slut shaming here? Miley must have an STI? And Cody, we know, must not since...? Girlfriend has been annoying as shit lately, but I don’t really see any reason for this. (PS using a condom is always a good idea, no matter who you’re having sex with. I mean, assuming there’s a penis involved.)

And then one day, while the two were in his office, Smith shut the door and tried to grab her. (This is an incident that Warren has spoken of in the past, including, in a fucking incredible move, during the eulogy she gave at Smith’s funeral.)

And people think she can’t go toe to toe with Agent Orange. That’s some…

Thank you for this, Stassa. I made a similar comment under a story a few days ago, and I watched the 60 minutes segment last night. I had a similar reaction. I was uncomfortable with the framing of both the Texas Ranger and of Little. When he spoke in the interviews, it’s clear he’s not a genius, nor did he come…

These shoes are not okay. 

When I did my teeth (long awful story; not a single cavity until I was 40, then kerblooey, I’m all implants, bridges and crowns). There’s a temptation, starting from basically scratch, to want the most flawless, white shining chompers possible but fortunately I had a great dentist who advised me to tone it down. In…