Good news: juice diets and “cleanses” are bullshit.

Yes, we all saw Rick and Morty.

Ugh that was really low-hanging fruit. Now I feel bad & sad.

Prematurely?

I did a cleanse once. Everything was fine for the first couple days, and then I dropped a Bannon so big, it wrapped around the bowl twice and I nearly lost balance when I stood up because I was so much lighter. I highly recommend it!

coming sooner than we would like

Correction: That’s a “gin and juice” cleanse.

Begin with a battery acid high colonic, Stevey Boy.

Actually that’d be a “Jews Cleanse”.

I’m guessing he saw the latest episode of Ric & Morty and got some ideas...?

You drank out of the wrong grail, asshole. Ain’t no going back now.

Hurricane Harvey may also have hurt ticket sales

Come to think of it, that one white walker looks an awful lot like iggy pop...

They should have been riding zombie mastodons.

Even if you don’t show up, you’re already better than Ed Sheeran.

Walmart can really scare me. I was just visiting some small central Kansas towns and saw first hand how it affects their economies. It was quite haunting.

They’re white and they can walk.

Amazon is still advertising on Brietbart, but your kale is slightly less overpriced.

Lettuce keep your vegetable love from growing in this comment section.