Cum on?

We actually still had an Onion newspaper box outside our office building as recently as a few years ago, despite their DC-area print edition being gone for a long time. I was tempted to steal it, but I got enough clutter in my condo.

My dad does that to me over Facebook Messenger. Sends me like 2-3 links to things per day. I never, ever actually click on them.

I'm not gonna fish out my ear buds, plug 'em in, and unmute my computer just to watch a 2-minute video that could have been much easier just fucking typed out.

Well, "tragic" more in the artistic sense, rather than in the "oh my god we're all gonna fucking die because a colicky toddler has the nuclear football" sense.

LISA NEEDS BRACES.

Paul and Linda McCartney being good friends with Apu is probably my first "Jesus this is stupid and terrible" moment, especially when they plugged her frozen dinners.

To be fair, none of the characters are very interesting anymore.

I'm interested in hearing about this so-called "Long Guy" Land…

I may not get a chance to do this again, so….

I DVR it so I can skip commercials. Watching live TV is such a pain in the ass with those ever-increasing commercial breaks.

Yeah, this is why I'm not counting on him finishing the series. We'll be lucky to see the one he's ostensibly working on right now.

If something's only available in video, I just skip it. I didn't learn to read for this shit!

You misspelled "a long".

They are, but it won't be linked to anything. They'll just be kinda floating there.

Wouldn't it just be tragic if we discovered Donald Trump had all these spectacular and amazing dreams, only to be a stupid, banal douchebag while awake?

I've always thought it was kind of strange that they decided to give Flanders a totally buff body, especially since he's got the same basic generically-chubby Groening-drawn body when he's got his signature sweater on. When does he ever work out?

I bent my wookiee!

That's pretty disturbing if you're a pteronophobe.

I was hoping to hit a million upvotes. I wonder if anyone on Disqus has done that yet.